The Liberty Bell 'Aint Got Nothin' On Me

So much to tell you all, so little time. I have been Missing In Action for quite some time, stuffed in a dark box with no hint as to where I have been or where I am. It wasn't until I found a cell phone today that I was able to communicate with someone and find out the awful truth.

But first, a bit of history. On February 26, 1846 the Liberty Bell rang for the last time in honor of George Washington's birthday. On that date, the bell cracked for the last time, rendering it un-ringable.

A similar fate has befallen me, the bell of Lodi Sunrise Rotary Club.  Yes, my health and well being was entrusted to a member of the club for the purpose of taking me to Las Vegas to ring wildly knowing that "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas".  Instead, my caretaker BROKE ME!  That's what I said .. I've been BROKEN and I can't be rung!

Yes, my careless handler broke my Rotary Emblem  off while hot-rodding his company car around Lodi and rolling me around in the back of his car!

He thought he was real slick when he pulled up next to that Corvette, challenging it to a road race.  You'd think he would know better than to race an HHR against a Corvette.  But he didn't, and now I'm a broken bell because of it.  I can only hope that it costs him a LOT of money to fix me.  When my repairs are completed, he MAY wish that President Obama had extended free healthcare to bells.

The worst part of the whole thing is ... he tried to cover it up.  Just check out the email he sent me trying to explain where I am and what is going on.  What .. does he think I wasn't there?  Does he think I don't remember (now that he's reminded me).  And how was I supposed to "respond" to his email lying in the back of some warehouse without my Blackberry?  And to top it all off, he actually has the nerve to blame District Governor Susan!!

 

Dear, Dingy

Since you had not responded, I went ahead and sent the picture of your accident.  I do blame some of this on District Gov. Susan.  When I picked you up from her house, you kept going on and on about how much fun you had.  You kept texting me about your adventures, and all the baby toy cars she made you ride on.  As soon as you saw the little plastic Jeep at my house, you jumped out of my arms in an attempt to get into that Jeep.  Before I could grab you, you lost control and landed on the pavement with a CRASH!  Do you remember the ambulance ride? Surgery? anything at all?

Your Doctor said you can start traveling again next week.  I am sad you were not in Vegas with me, but I am glad you are ok.  As you travel, please be more careful.  President Dustin is going to start pounding on you when you return to the meetings. I suggest you start some type of exercise regiment to build up your strength.

 

The NERVE of this guy!! He must be a liberal because he pretty much blames everyone but himself for this tragedy!!  On top of that, why would I WANT to jump into that Jeep?  Didn't he READ MY PREVIOUS POST where I lamented having to spend time riding Governor Susan's plastic kiddie toys?

The fact of the matter is, that "crime scene" was STAGED to cover up the fact that I was broken during a drag race of an HHR versus a Corvette.

I REALLY need someone to take me on an adventure once my bell repairs are done!  I got cheated out of Vegas, and now my injury is being covered up!  I just need to get away.  EMAIL ME IF YOU HAVE SOMEPLACE INTERESTING TO TAKE ME!  the.bell.2009@gmail.com

Yours in Rotary, Dingy