Livin' La Vida Loca

There has been a LOT of speculation where I've been the past few weeks, and people are even being fined! But to be honest .. I just needed to get away and clear my handle. I spent most of the first two MONTHS of President Ralph's year hidden away in Cheryl Sinclair's underwear drawer. That probably wouldn't have been half bad, but there is a severe lack of "thong-age" in that drawer, so it wasn't all that exciting (unless you like going through drawers at an all female retirement home).

When I finally was allowed to see the light of day again, I was mercilessly pounded by President Ralph on a weekly basis. Sometimes it was with that damned gavel, other times with a pen or pencil, and yet other times with whatever the Prez had at his disposal (screwdriver, shoe, plastic fork, or whatever). Then he bought that dang rollaway cabinet and stuffed me into the bottom every week for that bumpy ride to-and-from the storage room at Oak Ridge Winery.

On the plus side, I did spend most of my weeks (during President Ralph's tenure) in the Wine Storage room at Oak Ridge Winery - with no supervision and not much light. All I can say about THAT experience is that the OZV Zinfandel at Oak Ridge Winery is to die for! I only hope they don't take physical inventory anytime soon.

But the last straw for me was finding out that Dustin was going to be President this year. It was bad enough having to be pounded by President Ralph .. but getting pounded by a guy that rides a rides hogs (Harley's) and horses? I'll either be getting "rung" each week by a riding crop, or the chain connected to President Dustin's wallet!

So what did I do? Well, I figured the closer I hid to my future problem .. the less likely I'd be found. so I took up refuge in President Dustin's hay loft. Its pretty comfortable there, I get some sunlight, and NO ONE has thought to look for me there!

En route to that haven, I stopped to admire the Mokelumne Aqueduct! Did you know that the Pardee Dam, which feeds the Aqueduct, was the highest dam in the world at the time it was constructed?! And did you know that the Mokelumne Aqueduct began delivering water to the East Bay area on June 23rd, 1929 - when Bob Gross was only 12 years old? (Do the math, people). That's amazing to me!

But I grew tired of living in a Straw House, so I am off for more adventure before having to come back to the club and take more abuse. I hope you don't miss me, because - to be honest - I don't miss Tom McCauley's rambling monologues all that much.

If you have a trip planned to anywhere interesting, and you'd like to TAKE ME ALONG WITH YOU, please send an email at The.Bell.2009@Gmail.com and I'll tell you where you can pick me up! I'd love to travel with you!

Yours in Rotary,

Da Bell