Life Is Good!

October 31st, 2011

Life is good!

Even though, I have not heard, word one, from my “El Jefe“, life parties on! ... Or at least, I do!

I am happy to report I have found the love of my life - At a recent party I was invited to, I was going through the fabulous food line when Bam! Out of the Blue! There she was… I felt this sudden attraction to this curvaceous, Q-Tip, Platinum Blond… I know what you are saying she is only attracted to me because after all there was an award to be handed out, later in the evening - and the reputation is that likes of these types is that they are only attracted to those going to award shows and award winners, however, I don’t care…Her long body, her soft head, she even has a love handle - wow!

As you can see I had quite the night… I was held up! “Duke Nukem” thought I might have “extra” change "dangling" from me, so he was dangling me by my bells to try to extort everything I might have… Notice the shinny gun - I actually asked him if I could handle his pistol later in the night… It was “big, hard and shinny“ Almost too much for me to handle!

I also had the opportunity to meet up with the Big Bad Wolf - Wolfy liked me but he kept trying to mark me as his territory all night long, if you know what I mean - “BAD DOG!”… could not wait to get away from him…

I thought I would throw in a few other pictures of me and my new “friend” enjoying the party. If you look at me with the award of the night, notice, the “Balls of Steel” award. - I would have won that but mine are made out of "brass", so I was disqualified on a technicality… That’s ok, I still went home with a gang bonger for a really good time… I won’t be showing any pictures of that though… or maybe I will??

Life is good!

Dingy in "Love"

When The Prez Is Away, The Bell Will Play

October 17th, 2011

Happy Rotary tidings to everyone!

As it is said, “in the face of adversity you find out who your true friends are…” -Bob Gross (not really, but he is old enough he could have said that)

El Jeffe goes on vacation and does not even think of asking me to ride along with his family on vacation. Well, I enjoy Legoland - Imagine... (cause that is what you will have to do!) my picture with the replica of my hero the cracked Philly Bell -or- imagine a picture of me at Disneyland with Minnie Mouse -or- just imagine a picture of me, "The best darn Lodi Sunrise Rotary Bell" nestled between the nurturing bosom of a Las Vegas Showgirl….

Thanks for asking, El Jeffe… oh that’s right, you only thought of yourself on this trip, I was not asked to go along!

So thank god for the fine Rotarians in our club who took it upon themselves to build good will and better friendships in my moment of despair to bring me out of darkness and let me “shine” at a regular Rotary meeting… What a treat! Good Times, Good Friends and so happy to be back at the Country Club!

I was also included in several Rotarian dinner parties, now I would love to show all the pictures but I am afraid that 1) there might have been “some” alcohol involved and 2) I might have "mixed it up" with a bottle of Bell Vineyards Cabernet, if you know what I mean and 3) I would implicate “guiltless” people and get them fined, which is that last thing I would want to do. Especially, since I was so happy, just to be included as a Rotarian, for once.

…So El Jeffe, you go about your daily life, thinking about yourself (normal), sitting in your favorite chair(that's right), eating your Cheetos(I can see your orange stained fingers now), playing your video games(get a life!)…. don’t feel bad about me, I am just fine, I have my friends at Rotary…

"The best darn Lodi Sunrise Rotary Bell!"

Slopping Suds At The Grape Festival

September 21st, 2011

I haven’t posted for a while… I am a little upset that my president, has not inquired about my whereabouts lately… so I am glad to hear that his “gong banger” is “missing in action” as well. - Serves him right! - Sound like a great “Gift Idea” for Christmas!

Secondly, I am really upset that El Jeffe did not put out the call for me to help at the Sunrise Rotary Beer Booth! Especially since A) El Jeffe was a Beer Booth “El Capitan” or if you rather El Jeffe of the Beer Booth and B) given my vast experience in “Ringing up Sales” I thought I would be invaluable. 

So, being the “Good Rotarian” that I am, I took it upon myself to help at the Beer Booth. Obviously, I picked a shift where there were Non-Rotarians working so I could supervise and share the good work ethic of best damn Rotary Club in Lodi.

 

Since we needed to call and have a keg tapped you can see me with the Bud Man.

Bud Man asked me if I wanted a job with Bud - he told me I could be the “Hood Ornament” of Shock Top - However, orange has never been my color, I am more a UCLA, Blue and Gold Bell…

As all our Rotarians can attest - we practice safe, responsible, drinking! Except for Chuck Higgs, who on occasion has too much “fun” to either care or know better - so I made sure everyone had a valid ID.

After my shift, I had to check out the competition and see what Coors “tasted” like. The lady was very nice and she gave me a “lemon slice” in my beer - at least I won’t have to worry about Scurvy for another year!

I did not have any wine but I met the “neighbors”. You know the saying “wine after beer makes you feel queer“… the ladies sure were nice and their smiles sure lighted up my bell.

For Phil’s’ sake I checked out the Rabo Bank booth and “spun the wheel” didn’t win anything but made a new “friend“. By the way, he could not believe how “heavy” I was and wanted to know the value of my “Brass” if you now what I mean.

After my shift - my feet were killing me, so as you can see, I needed to sit on the “vibrator“. Sure “tinkled my bells!“ If I could have sat there without my beer foaming over, it would have been the “highlight” of my Grape Festival experience.

All in all, I had a good time “slopping suds” at the Grape Festival… However, I have to say it was not as much fun as working at Cherokee Memorial Funeral Home - At least at the FUNeral home you know A) you always have a nice comfortable place to lay down when you get tired, and because of El Jeffe, B) there is always something to eat!

Until the next time!

Chica da Bell

Experiencing Where People Go "After The Bell Tolls"

August 19th, 2011

Today is Friday! TGIF!

All I hear from our esteemed, fearless, leader, Bradley Webb, alias, El Jefe - is how hard he works and that he never has any time for himself - So I thought I would, as the saying goes, “walk a day in the shoes of “El Jefe”. So go back in time with me to a couple of weeks ago, where I showed up for work at the modern, expansive, employer of El Jefe, Cherokee Memorial Funeral Home.

I was greeted by an elated staff - They were very happy to have a “shinny” new personality to dazzle them with “brilliance“ and they were eager to test my “mettle“ in the “business“. I too was impressed with their sparkling personalities and desire to help me get a better understanding into the life of our El Jefe. Let me just start by saying this…The employees of Cherokee Memorial Funeral Home, El Jefe, excluded, really try to put the “Fun” in FUNeral home!

The first picture shows my first task was to “test drive” the “Crash Cart” - this is the cart the bodies come in on. Notice the thick cushioned padding for comfort (?) and also notice - safety first - as my brass is strapped to the cart. 

Note: Why the padded cushions(?) Why the abundance of caution with safety here? If a body falls off the cart what is going to happen, is it going to die, again?

Then I was shown the Embalming Room and placed on the Embalming Table. (Boy that table was cold - I froze my brass off). I also have to tell you that tube was long, at first I didn’t think I could take the whole thing - It was quite the experience for all involved. - I was scared that it was going to hurt - then once I was able to relax, I found it quite enjoyable. - It may have even tinkled my bell a little.. If you know what I mean?

It was now lunchtime, Brad has everyone trained! - El Jefe is always hungry, so when it is time for lunch - everything “goes dead“, so to speak, so El Jefe can eat. I was feeling a little tired at this time so I took the opportunity to go into the “display room” and take a coffin for a test ride.

You can see me resting peacefully!

After a “heavenly” hour of sleep - the staff and I enjoyed a rousing round of “Hide and Seek“. Just like Tony Romo at his bachelor party, what a great way to have a little fun and kill a little time. Those “FUN”eral home people are a riot! Anyway, see if you can find me in the picture with the Urns… I laughed so hard that I almost cracked my bell, Philly style!

Once they found me and I was no longer, “it!”. - I went into the office of El Jefe. Or, as Brad calls it - the “Nerve Center” of the whole operation. Seriously, if it was an operation, it would die of “staff infection” it is so messy! - However, notice that our fearless leader does have the Rotary plaque prominently displayed for all to see - Good for you, El Jefe!

In my last picture, you can see me dressed, like our leader, sitting in El Jefe’s executive chair, barking out commands from his “Nerve Center“… Blah blah, “I am hungry!”. Blah blah, “I never have any time for myself!” Blah blah blah, “I wish I could just stay home - sit in my underwear, eat cheetos and play Goldeneye all day long!” I can hear El Jefes’ voice “ringing” in my ears, even now, as I write this.

…There you go - a day in the Rotary life of El Jefe, alias Bradley Webb!

Accurately reported by Chica da Bell

Preaching The Good Word Of Rotary

August 15th, 2011

Well it is Monday!

Start of a fresh week to go forth and preach of the Rotary Spirit!

...Sorry! If I get carried away - In El Jefe's last post regarding me, I was referred to as a "Playah" and that I was accused of "flashing my brass" around town, if you know what he meant?

Nothing could be farther from the truth, brother! Today I am to report that I spent my whole weekend in church. I accompanied several members of our esteemed club to their local church, for worship and fellowship, and helped to prepare for Sunday Services.

As you can see from the pictures, I was prominently displayed in the front of the church. I enjoyed my position, and I think it was good for our club to be prominently displayed as a symbol of GOOD WILL AND BETTER FRIENDSHIPS!

Also you can see I put my musical talents to use and I was also able to help with the music selections for the day. This due to the fact I have excellent tone definition, I was able to "Ring In" the Praises of God! - THIS PROVED TO BE BENEFICIAL TO ALL!

I also want to point out to El Jefe, that I had a reflective moment where I just found a quiet spot to read the bible - This is where I found the TRUTH.

And finally - You can see my selection of music in the hymnals of the Church. This is where it is FAIR TO ALL CONCERNED, the church does not care if you are tone challenged, the church just wants everyone to "Ring In" the praises of God!

I finally found somewhere I was appreciated!

It is my hope everyone was motivated by my posting in a positive way, today, especially you El Jefe! I am not some shinny, pagan token of greed, and debauchery, I am a symbol of all that is bright and hopeful with Rotary - and you are to use my tone(if I ever decide to come back) to go out and put forth the Rotary Doctrine's into everyday life to make all of those around you better citizens in the community we serve through Rotary.

In Rotary Spirit!

Chica da Bell

and may "God Bless Everyone of You!"

Resonating in the church all by myself

Trying to play piano (having no hands really makes it hard)

Singing from the songbook (too bad I can only read as good as Pres Brad)

My First Job Application

August 9th, 2011

Well tomorrow is our meeting day at Rotary - Boy how I miss those days…

I have several pictures to post today, the first picture is of me in front of El Jefes’ house.

It was sad to say goodbye, however, if El Jefe would have treated me with the respect I deserve, instead of ranting about being jealous of spending time alone with his wife, I would still be there. I have nothing but kind words to say about the Webb family, Brad excluded!

Instead, since I have received many calls for employment from the ad I placed, I thought I would start my journey and pull myself up by my brass-strapes and make a name for myself, on my own. As you can see I filled out my first work application at where else, but Taco Bell. I am putting my retail sales experience to use - to ring up sales and welcome people to Taco Bell.

In my honor, Taco Bell is starting a new menu item in Lodi - the Bell Burger - stop in and tell them Chica sent you.

I hope you all enjoy the meeting, Miss you all - in Rotary Spirit

Chica da Bell

Applying for a job as "Head Bell" at Taco Bell

Hanging around Pres Brad's house waiting for him .. he didn't show.

Slave Labor

August 3rd, 2011

I am sooo happy that my president, El Jefe, has pronounced his concerns for me.

...I was beginning to think he did not care!

However, it must be known that I am working my bells off here at the country club... They insist on no free rides, so in exchange for a place to hang, they are making me work!

As you can see from my pictures they have me cooking and serving breakfast - nothing but the best for the members...

Ringing up sales at the pro shop (you know when it is busy it is balls out, if you know what I mean)

and occasionally I have a chance to sit and relax and enjoy a cool beverage at the bar (while looking to get my bell polished if you know what I mean)

Anyway, I cannot tell you how happy that El Jefe is concerned for my well being, but if he was so concerned he could just reach out and be able to ring my bell... I am closer to the El Jefe then he knows...

In Rotary Spirit!

Chica Bella

A cocktail or ten at the Country Club

Hanging with my "balls"

Slaving over a hot stove to insure my fellow Rotarians have a great breakfast!

Waffles and Bacon and Eggs, oh my!

August 1st, 2011

As you can see from the pictures attached I have had a busy week!
 

I was checking in on everyone during the meeting to see how well everyone liked the waffles and bacon I helped cook. Since I have been here at the country club I have been put to work and I am getting very tired! I hope my president takes the time to find me and take me home, soon!...

One nice thing though, former mayor, Phil Katzakian, who was attending as a guest, took me for a ride in his boss new Mustang! Phil likes to drive fast (kind of jingled my bells if you know what I mean)!

I wish all of you a great week and hope to see you soon!

Taking a breather between the Scrambled Eggs & bacon.

Phil has a "Boss" that goes REALLY FAST!!!!

I Met The New District Governor!

July 20th, 2011

I enjoyed meeting the District Govenor today and especially his wife, Sally... (Really, I did meet him!)

What a treat for me to finally be in attendance for our District Govenor.

It really frosts my bells (if you know what I mean) that My President rang some cheap, random asian gong - Sounded more like a pan lid! Especially, since I was right there practically next to him! Also, I am also really upset that I was not taken to the kick out party. I enjoy a party as much as any Rotarian in our club - heck any of you can ring my bell anytime (if you know what I mean)

I am tired of "Golf" and "Cards" ("Golf" and "Cards" is just code for us guys to get drunk and have fun without our spouses (if you know what I mean).

I hope my President reaches out to me at the next meeting - I will be closer to him then he knows.

In the spirit of Rotary

Dingy